so i wrote this really long blog only to realize, i will be judged way too harshly on it. which is the last thing i need right now. so i ctrl+a and deleted it. no one knows the truth about a lot of things, all i can say in short is… you can feel/think/believe anything. does that mean its the truth? one day maybe i will see things the same as many others. as for tonight do i? nope.